★ Picking Up The Pieces

[Gino: 1.0 sp]

Gino says: 'Okaaay. This I saw because it stars Woody Allen in 2000, and I wanted to see "what was up with that", e.g. what makes him pick a role to play, so infrequently as an actor. Call it a "Straight To Hell" moment, without the necessary rewinding.

Let me just say the pluses first: Allen's one-liners are present and the plot did not lose its way. Other than that, this did NOT feature an amateurish zydeco soundtrack, and it did NOT star Rob Schneder, so it had that going for it. But let me get on to the good (bad) stuff, because after all I only finished watching this in order to inform you guys:

• the lighting scheme relied heavily on placing a garishly-colored bulb outside a doorway or window, and the always-suspect cinematographic practice of canted angles was used.
• it is a non-Latino themed film taking place in a "border town" and not starring Charleton Heston, which is bad news.
• You must read this plot summary from Netflix: "Woody Allen plays a kosher butcher (wearing cowboy boots and a Stetson, no less) who slices and dices his philandering wife but loses track of her hand -- which becomes venerated in a small-town church for its ability to work miracles." The severed hand is always giving people the finger, by the way. HA HA HA!
• there are several inexplicable accents incongruent with the locale
• Finally, the cast includes the following: Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Andy Dick, Fran Drescher, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (not so bad, but he plays "Flaco" the Mexican street kid), Eddie Griffin (who appears to play the role here of a Greek Chorus of sorts, this is funnier once you look up who he is on IMDb), Cheech Marin (not joking yet), Lou Diamond Phillips, and the halmark of a fine film, David Schwimmer. On the bright side, no Carrot Top!

Oh my goodness.'