★★ Superman Returns

[Twinkletoes: 2.0]

Unlike Gino, I did manage to stick around for the entire screening of Superman Returns. First off let me say that sitting here a week later my feelings about the IMAX experience have not softened. For those joining us a bit late, I hated it. Never again. As for what I thought about the film, here you go. Possible spoilers follow.

This is essentially more of a sequel to Superman 2 that the original Superman 3 was.

First. it’s the same exact world. It’s a world where nobody can figure out that Clark Kent and Superman are the same guy. I don’t have a problem with that. It’s corny but it works. Otherwise you’d have a story about an invincible man stopping bank robbers all day long and nothing else.

Second, it’s the same exact characters. Superman is still ridiculously virtuous and that’s just fine by me. I mean that’s what Superman is. And I will say that Brandon Routh does an incredible job of recreating the Christopher Reeve Superman. It really is uncanny and for me the best part of the film. The problem is with the other main characters. Lex Luthor is still the most evil criminal mastermind in the world despite the fact that he doesn’t really seem all that smart and he surrounds himself with idiots. He’s still basically comic relief which is a shame. I thought Kevin Spacey was going to bring a lot more meat and menace to this role. As for Lois Lane she's still sassy which I suppose is just fine but the woman who plays her in this thing is just awful. She had no presence on the screen.

Third, it’s the same stinking plot! Well it’s awfully similar. In the original Superman Lex buys a bunch of cheap land in like Nevada and then wants to cause an earthquake that will make all of that land ocean front property resulting in big profits. In this film he wants to create a new continent that will be his and he can sell pieces of this new world to others. And with huge parts of Europe, North America and Africa underwater after the new continent’s creation, my guess is it will be for a hefty profit.

So where does that leave us? Well if it was 1980 we’d be left with a decent Superman sequel (it certainly looks better) but its 2006 and as a result this film suffers a similar fate that the new Star Wars films did. If you look at the last 3 Star Wars films the dialogue and stories aren’t really all that much more insipid than the original trilogy. The problem is that we don’t have the benefit of nostalgia that allows us to still watch the original trilogy with the eyes of the 10 year olds we were when they came out. We’re smarter and more sophisticated now and the new films suffer as a result. It’s the same thing here but now it’s an even bigger problem because I was never a huge fan of the original Superman films to begin with.

And while were at it, where does this character go from here? How many different ways can you endanger Superman with Kryptonite? But if its not Kryptonite than isn't it basically harmless? I suppose if they make another sequel (and with the introduction of Superman Jr. I suppose its inevitible) to make it interesting whoever the bad guy is will have to stage some sort of event to distract Superman while he does what he really wants to do (probably something like turning Idaho into a beach resort). The tension will come in the fact that Superman can't be in 2 places at once. But hey, that's where Junior comes in! This crap really writes itself doesn't it?